Eating the Elephant

I have had several occasions this year for visioning, looking ahead at what I would like to have or be in my life and taking a stand or making a commitment toward it. When I really let my mind go, I can dream pretty big (although I am still conscious of limiting my visioning with my idea of being "realistic" sometimes). The problem is, there are a lot of things about which I've been dreaming. When I start making a list of all the different goals toward which my visioning leads, it's a pretty intimidating affair.

When I believe that I have to be doing it all right now, that is. What I have been doing is forcing myself forward on ten different fronts and what my body and brain are telling me is "Too much!" I focus my time so intensely on working toward so many commitments and visions that I frequently fail to enjoy what is happening right now. I'm even aware that I have written blogs on the subject before, and yet, here I am learning the lesson all over again.

So, my act of self-care now is to do a little whittling. I'm content to let some of the commitments I have made be future unknowns. I don't have to work at moving down every path all the time. My list of ten big, important goals can become three. It might even shift week by week, or maybe even from one day to the next. I don't actually know what it will look like, but I do know that I will need to check in with myself a little more honestly if I want a different result.

I've been convinced that I have to eat the elephant(s) one bite at a time. Now I am remembering that sometimes I prefer game hen.

Resting

Over the course of the last week, I have had dozens of ideas for carrying the percussion (plus some other instruments) forward, a list of opportunities for the new Power of Connection mentor course I'm now licensed to teach, a growing batch of things to repair around the house, and some strong motivation to advance a couple of other creative projects I put on hold a couple of months ago. And I have done very little of it.

I actually have contacted a few people and venues about some Power of Connection ideas, and I have been actively preparing for the Houston More To Life Weekend in August. But everything else has been postponed. I have had guests staying with me, and it has been more important to me that I am available to them to visit and see what there is of interest to see in and around Houston. At the same time, my mind has been divided, wanting to move on things. Take action. Get going. Music isn't going to write itself. Things won't fix themselves. Courses won't plan themselves.

It has been a challenge to my commitment to give myself time of quality rest so that I can enjoy sprinting ahead when it's time to do so. And it isn't really a matter of which activities are restful and which are not. The connection with other people rejuvenates, sharpens, and energizes me, and I am capable of resting in the midst of being refueled. Even if a part of me is absolutely ready to take off into what comes next.

The Power of Partnership

On my best days I can do a lot of different things well. When I am right on the edge of my capabilities, though, it only takes a little push to get me over the line. One little thing going differently than I expect or taking longer than I've planned and I'm overwhelmed and stressed. Of course, if I hang back in a comfortable, unchallenging space it's easier to make adjustments, but if I'm committed to being fully engaged I want to look for other solutions to feeling overwhelmed.

When I'm playing small, I spend my time and energy on things that don't really take advantage of my skills and expertise. Of course, the things I wind up doing are often still necessary on some level, but it's not necessary for me to do them. When I spend my time unwisely, not only do I limit what I am able to accomplish, but I also limit other people's opportunities to contribute and grow.

Whether I am at work or striving for personal goals, there are people in my life who truly appreciate the opportunity to be of service. Although they experience their own bit of being overwhelmed from time to time, I often find that people are more willing to partner with me than I anticipate. I guess it makes sense, though. I usually feel appreciated when someone seeks my involvement, especially if they're asking me to do something at which I excel.

It boils down to delegation. When I can delegate in ways that allow others to be successful and to develop their own abilities, people are often amazingly grateful. And the partnership allows me to focus my time and energy on the challenges and tasks that are best suited for me.