Connecting

For the past few days, I have been engaging with a brand new course called The Power of Connection and I am now licensed as a mentor to teach this powerful course. It is about communication, effective listening, partnership, setting boundaries... essentially how to have meaningful relationships in every area of life. I immediately saw the ways that teaching this course could fit with my overall vision, but as I spent time with the other mentors in the training, I began to see even more possibilities.

This training was attended by people from all over the world: South Africa, New Zealand, Great Britain, and several different places in the United States. I noticed in many of these people a profound purposefulness about what they were doing; they had big intentions for how this course could feed into their visions too. By the end of the weekend training, several of these people suggested opportunities for partnership with me. I felt grateful, a little surprised, and energized by their acknowledgment of my capability and their interest in partnering.

For the past few weeks, since my experience at Way of a Warrior, I have been settling into the lesson that when I run with "fast fliers" I can trust, I can give my 100% without worrying about being left behind or leaving someone else behind. Over the past few days, I began to re-realize that I am a fast flier in many ways myself. But when I took a fellow mentor to the airport yesterday morning, I got an even bigger piece of this lesson when he asked, "How do you determine when you can trust someone?"

I had it that my experience of another person dictated whether or not I could trust them. If I could predict their behavior enough to know with some certainty that they would follow through on their commitments, then I could trust them. That cause-effect relationship was challenged when he said, "Trusting is a choice you make. You decide to be a trusting person." I can take a stand to be trusting, and my boundaries can fill in the gaps between that trust and the reality of others' behavior. I don't have to stop trusting when someone does something that challenges my boundaries.

One of the most exciting things about the journey I am on is the abundance of learning I get when I am willing to receive it.

The View From Here

Photo by Ceiniog

My journey in many ways has involved me choosing a path and then looking at my feet as I take every step. I've known exactly where my feet were landing, I've recognized the path, and I've had some idea of my destination, but I've also missed a lot of enjoyment along the way. Now, in relishing my view from this spot where I am right now and letting my feet sink into one step at a time, I recognize just how poised I am for the things that are about to happen in my life.

In a couple of days, I have an interview with a local radio station about my piano CD, Mysteries. A few days after that, I'll be completing my training to teach a course called The Power of Connection, which is a brand new six-week curriculum focused on communication and developing the myriad relationships we have in our lives. I'm composing an experiential piece with a different creative perspective than I have taken in the past, and I'm on the leadership team for creating the August More To Life Weekend in Houston. At the same time, I am able to devote time to many rich relationships, and I have a job that continues to challenge me in ways I don't always expect.

I recognize that I am indeed moving forward, in many directions, even when I'm not consciously watching where my feet are landing. I can trust that they will land on solid ground and enjoy the scenery a bit more. What I see gives me evidence toward the things that are true about me: Rather than being lazy, I am purposeful and I can set realistic goals for myself. Rather than being selfish, I actually care a great deal about people, and I am dedicating time to guiding other people in more effective and intentional communication and relationship with one another. Looking up and enjoying each step as I journey not only lets me see other people more clearly, but it gives me a chance to really see myself.

Proselytizing vs. Equipping

I've been thinking today about why I want to introduce mentoring and life coaching into my career path. At various points in life, I have been so taken with a practice or belief that I have wanted everyone to know about it. I wanted to win them over in a certain sense. On some level, I think now that there was some external validation to be gained from another person buying into the same things I believed. I've seen this same behavior in other people quite a bit as well, sometimes more gracefully or subtly exhibited than others.

Proselytizing now seems to be a strange way of expressing fear. Fear that what I have isn't real, that what I believe isn't true. That I have somehow been duped. If I can get collusion from someone else, then I won't feel quite so stupid. If they believe it too, it must be at least somewhat reasonable. And if someone challenges this belief, that fear of being wrong can lead right into defensiveness. "How dare you question this valuable thing that I'm trying to share with you!?"

And yet, sometimes I learn something that really is useful for other people too. It feels different when I share those things, though. Not so attached to the outcome, but excited that I know something that can benefit someone else. I don't need what I know to be validated by someone else's belief. I can believe it without anyone else's approval. And even more interesting: whether another person believes it or not, I don't need to defend anything from this space. I can be open to someone else's point of view without feeling threatened. And I can even change my mind, if I choose to do so.

So, one of my favorite types of conversations now is sharing the things that have been of benefit to me with other people when the opportunity presents itself. And being able to listen to what other people have found meaningful to them. Not so either of us can convince the other, but so we can mutually equip each other with the knowledge we have gained. At the very least, I walk away understanding a little more about someone. And that's just fun.