Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Death of the Lone Ranger

Asking for help has not always been my practice. Perhaps I viewed it as a show of weakness or that I would be bothering someone else. Or maybe I just thought that if I wanted something done right, I'd have to do it myself. I wasn't isolationist about it. I would certainly ask people for small things. Things that didn't require too much of their time or energy. Even the Lone Ranger had Tonto, right?

Now I am looking at my time and what I want to accomplish. I am recognizing the realistic limits of what I can do with the number of hours in a day, and I am seeing the shortfall. At the same time, I am in many ways content with my life. My job is no more challenging than I choose to make it, which is both a blessing and a curse. Although the schedule requires that I work when most of my friends and family actually have time to spend together, the schedule is also flexible in many ways. I am grateful that the steady pay is covering my bills at this time, and the compensation is a fair reflection of my experience and skills. And yet, I eventually want to have more time to compose and to focus on the publication and distribution of my music. I want to have more geographic flexibility and I want to be able to spend more time connecting with my wife and friends.

I know of several options. I could still try to do everything myself. In the past, that had led to me being driven and not taking care of myself. What I really want is to enjoy my life while I am stretching to the fullness of my capability. I could let go of some of my goals. This is the most tempting one many days. And yet, the intention behind that vision wells up from my truest self. I have chosen to limit myself for so long, and my recent stretching into the fullness of what I can do has been truly satisfying. And I haven't found my personal limits yet, even as I press against the practical reality of my current circumstances.

So, I am deciding to ask for help. I don't know what that assistance looks like just yet, but I know that I don't have to do everything myself. My vision has room for partnership. In fact, it is enhanced by it. I am passionate and skilled in many areas, but I really don't like the publicity side of things. I know that there are people who do, however. So, I am willing (and a bit determined) to partner with someone with a complimentary skill set rather than only do what I can accomplish by myself. And I'll see what possibilities are created.

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